What does passive aggressive mean?
You’ve likely heard the phrase “passive aggressive,” but what exactly does it mean? “Passive aggressive is an unhealthy type of communication style or behavior pattern, It means you have something (usually negative) to deal with and you are being avoidant (passive) about what you really need but aggressive about something else—either your tone is aggressive or you’re being aggressive about something that isn’t really the heart of what you are trying to communicate.” Sarcasm, silent treatment and withholding information are all signs of passive aggressive behavior.
Who is a passive aggressive man?
A passive aggressive man lives to avoid responsibility and runs away from conflict no matter how important its resolutions may be for his relationship. A passive aggressive man can also be recognized by his incredible passivity and withdrawal. He is that Mr Perfect who would make you fall in love with him head over heels. You will be shell-shocked once he reveals his true colors.
What is passive aggressive behavior in a relationship?
Despite containing the word “aggressive,” passive aggressive behavior isn’t always as aggressive as you might imagine. That’s because of the passive nature that accompanies it. “Passive aggressiveness can often come in different forms—sarcasm is a very common way of being passive aggressive,” Bejar says. “Other forms include misdirected anger or aggression, backhanded compliments or testing your partner to see how they will react or respond to something.
How Passive Aggression Manifests in a Relationship
Passive-aggressive behavior is a general pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly doing so. Therefore, it is difficult to identify and manage a relationship with a passive-aggressive person.
Often, passive-aggressive behavior manifests in the following ways:
Sulking
Giving cold silence
Procrastination
Feigned forgetfulness
Partners may withdraw emotionally or give the silent treatment to indicate their displeasure. Passive-aggressive behavior undermines intimacy and trust. If left unchecked, it can lead to increased conflict and resentment.
READ ALSO: 17 SIGNS OF PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE RELATIONSHIP, WHY SOME PARTNERS ARE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE
Causes of Passive-Aggressive Behaviors
Anger, frustration, and displeasure are normal emotions. People who rely on passive aggression rather than direct communication to show these emotions often grew up in a family where that behavior was common. It might not have felt safe for them to directly express their feelings as a child.
But people can also pick up this behavior as adults. They may act this way because it helps them get what they want. They may do it to avoid confrontation. Many people are only passive-aggressive in some situations — for example, at work — but not in others. Researchers also link passive-aggressive behavior to:
Anxiety disorders
ADHD
Depression
Substance abuse
Personality disorders.
Some Tactics of passive aggressive person
The passive-aggressive partner may also try to manipulate or control the situation by making various demands or threats. They may threaten to withhold support unless their demands are met.
The passive-aggressive partner may withhold important information about finances or parenting to gain an advantage in the divorce. In addition, they may try to undermine their partner at every turn. Tactics might include sabotaging communication or refusing to cooperate.
Some behavior of passive aggressive person
1* Backhanded compliments
Backhanded compliments are very passive-aggressive. Think statements like, “I’m impressed you acted civilized all night,” or “Wow, your outfit is actually really cute today.” This behavior can also be considered negging, which is actually a form of manipulation.
2* Indirect refusal
“Indirectly refusing to meet someone’s needs is a form of passive-aggressive behavior, For example, say you’ve asked your partner or a roommate to take care of the dishes multiple times, and they don’t outright say no—but they don’t intend to do the dishes. Sure, maybe they’re just being lazy. But they could also be purposefully avoiding the dishes in a spiteful way, without telling you directly what’s going on.
3* Excuses
Sometimes people will make up excuses for doing or not doing something rather than directly stating the frustrations they have. “Regularly getting sick in a way that interferes with responsibilities, or ‘forgetting’ important appointments or dates,” can be passive-aggressive.
4* Being late
Oftentimes, passive-aggressive people will repeatedly arrive late, this can look like procrastinating, as well. The idea behind this is, if there’s something a passive-aggressive person doesn’t want to do, they will put it off until the last second rather than airing their grievances directly.
READ ALSO: HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE RELATIONSHIP
5* Negative body language
Body language can be passive-aggressive, too. Maybe they’re pouting, crossing their arms, or rolling their eyes, instead of saying outright what’s bothering them. Really, any behavior that expresses negative feelings without directly stating them is passive-aggressive.
6* Silence
Silence can be very passive-aggressive in certain contexts. This can look like stonewalling in the middle of an argument, ignoring a question, or leaving a text on “read.Silence anytime a response is warranted can count as passive-aggression.
What are some signs that someone is passive aggressive?
People with whom you were getting along famously suddenly avoid you or don’t talk to you without any apparent notice or cause.
You find yourself in conversations with people in which they are referring to you but you have no idea what they are talking about.
They are passive, so will not say what is on their mind, but are upset that you are not accommodating their needs, because they think they should not have to tell you what is on their mind. They will infer what they want so that you ask, and if you don’t they will target you in more painfully manipulative ways.
Oh, and there’s the whole lying cheating larcenous backstabbing two-faced gossiping part.
If you have the sense that someone is the type of person who would be washed away in a biblical flood, they are probably passive aggressive.
Cold shoulder
Being rude and ignoring you for “no reason” (that you can think of)
Trying to embarrass you in front of a group of people and or your friends
Not responding to you in a text for several hours
Ditches plans you’ve made in advanced all the time (flaking)
What are some things passive aggressive people say?
Everyone is different. And what passive aggressive people say is not rwallybout of the norm. For example, they often claim to be “fine” when they’re not, or say they’re “not mad” when they are mad. What they say is not the problem so much as the avoidance that makes them say these things & how damaging it is to their relationships because the only way they cope with conflict is using passive aggression. We all say we are “fine” or try to avoid fights or confrontations. It’s normal. But when avoiding conflict becomes pretty much the only way they deal with issues or conflict, that’s when the damage is done. When they’re mad, they claim not to be, but then punish you in a sly way. That’s no way to maintain a healthy relationship. That’s the real people with passive aggressive behavior. It’s the behavior, not the words.
It’s all about them trying to create learned helplessness in you. Passive aggression is a very cowardly trait because it comes from someone who isnt willing to be upfront with their problems. Generally they know they’re wrong and don’t have any basis to be mad but don’t have a way of dealing with it so they take it out on other people. Passive aggression is the ugliest action that exists because the only way to solve the problem is by being physical (because they take away the option of discussing it by denial and projection) or taking a loss and leaving and avoiding them and missing out on being where you need to be and doing what you need to do. It’s especially bad in today’s society where fighting will land you in jail preventing you from retaking the space you have the right to fill and not be covertly bullied away from it.
If they’re mad at you they act happy while displaying their anger by slamming shit around or doing similar stuff all while keeping their reasoning secret.
They’ll intentionally make things very difficult for you by playing stupid or intentionally fucking up.
They’ll be aggressive but deny they’re doing it and blame it on you and your insecurities that they’re working on creating.
READ ALSO: 16 BEST WAYS TO DEAL WITH PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PARTNERS
Some effects of a passive aggressive relationship
So you know what passive aggressive behavior looks like, but do you know how it can affect your relationship? “Passive aggressive behavior is confusing, ineffective, and, when used regularly, damaging to a relationship.
1* It Can Cause Feelings of Loneliness
The lack of direct communication can also cause feelings of loneliness in your relationship, as neither member of the couple feels understood. That’s because the message of what you’re feeling or needing gets lost in the delivery when you’re acting in a passive aggressive manner. “Every time a couple has to communicate is an opportunity for connection and shared experience—even when the content of what’s being communicated is heavy or difficult, When you regularly behave passive aggressively rather than using direct communication, you isolate yourself and drive a wedge between you and your partner.
2* It Can Lead to More Conflict
“When your communication is passive aggressive, rather than direct, your partner won’t know what you want—you’ll be putting them in a position to ‘mindread,’ which is a big no-no in a healthy relationship, “If your partner misses your ‘clue’ to mindread, or they read inaccurately, you are setting your partner (and therefore your relationship) up to fail.”
Not only can passive aggressive lead to more negative feelings, it can prolong your disagreements too. “You may find you’re focusing on their being an obstacle to moving forward, or even wondering whether you’re overreacting.
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A life lived in love, will never be dull 