What is the Acts of Service (Love Language)?

An act of service is the physical expression of a thoughtful gesture. It’s one of the five love languages, which are specific styles of showing love.

At its core, an act of service is about someone going out of their way to meaningfully help and support the other person.

When people take initiative to ease some of their responsibilities and burdens, it helps them feel taken care of, safe, and loved in return.

Actions speak louder than words for people whose Love Language is Acts of Service. They feel most loved when someone is doing things for them. The key thing to remember with this Love Language is “show, don’t tell”.

Well, that’s not entirely true, because you can TELL them also, but they need to SEE it in order to feel it.

Acts of Service don’t have to be grand sweeping gestures, in fact they are most effective when they are little, everyday “luxuries” for your partner.

Acts of service

It’s not about being their slave or taking on everything, but rather showing them you care by doing something a little extra to brighten their day.

Signs your (love language) is acts of service

There are a few dead giveaways that acts of service is your or your partner’s love language. For one, you could just take the test to see yourself. But if not, generally, “if you feel loved when others notice things they can do to help you out, and you tend to feel overlooked when people don’t pitch in to help you complete tasks, you may experience love primarily through acts of service.

This means if you find yourself making food for others, lightening up their workload by taking on some tasks yourself, or making their bed in the morning so it’s one less thing they have to do to get ready for the day, this may be yours.


Important note, though: Acts of service should not be confused with “serving” someone. There’s a fine line between wanting to help and completely serving another person who refuses to take on their own responsibilities. If at any point, you’re not enjoying yourself by taking on these tasks or you don’t feel appreciated for doing them, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship

Examples of acts of service.

Below are examples of what different acts of services can look like. Apply imagination and your own understanding of the person’s distinctive preferences to ensure the act will be recognized and appreciated.

While going through the list, remember that an act of service is about more than doing household chores, delivering on some high-octane grand gesture, or how much one can accommodate their every desire to please them.

Buy your partner a treat when you’re out running errands.

On the weekend, get up with the kids and let your partner sleep in.

Make them a special playlist.

Do the grocery shopping.

Set aside time to do your partner’s favorite activity (golf, yoga, antique shop) together.

Bring in the trash cans or set them out.
Hold/open the door for them.

Draw them a bath (bubbles/candles/flower petals optional).

Ask if you can bring them anything while you’re up.

Keep your promises. If you’ve committed to doing something for your partner, follow through.

doing the dishes

checking in on them during a stressful day at work

making them a cup of coffee in the morning

taking out the trash

picking them up from the airport
planning a vacation

taking care of them when they’ve come down with a cold or had dental surgery

Tackle the sink full of dirty dishes.

Fix the broken [insert thing that’s been broken forever here].

Tidy away the clutter in the living room.

Match the random socks in your partner’s sock drawer.

Pay the bills.

Weed the garden.

Take the kids to all their extracurriculars for a week.

Chill their beer glass.

Remember important days: anniversaries, birthdays, milestones.

Fold your partner’s laundry.

Make your significant other’s favorite dinner.

Fill up the pantry with your partner’s favorite snacks.

Wash the car.

Organize their workspace.

Schedule the home repair appointment they keep putting off.

Plan a special trip for the two of you and work out all the details from travel tickets to itinerary.

Make them a special lunch to take to work.

Bake a batch of their favorite [fill in the treat here].

Fill the car with gas.

Give them uninterrupted video game time or time to watch a sporting event

Offer them a back rub

Draw them a bubble bath

Detail their car, inside and out

Warm a towel in the dryer for after their shower

Clean the cat litter box

Do an errand for them (like picking up dry cleaning)

Take out the trash

Make a donation in their name

Go to the museum or an exhibit they have been dying to see

Fold all the socks in their sock drawer

Example of acts of service

Signs your partner prefers the (acts of service) Love Language

1* They may never ask for your help, but they tend to complain that you never jump in to make things easier for them.

2* They appear especially appreciative when you surprise them by doing something nice for them.

3* They seem relieved when you take a burden off of their shoulders, whether it is taking out the trash or running an errand for them on the way home from work.

4* They comment that actions speak louder than words.


How-to Show Acts of Service in a Long Distance Relationship.

Remember, this is how your partner gives and receives love. Which means they want to help you out as much as they want you to help them out.

Relationships are meant to be an equal balance of give and take, that includes long distance relationships too.

1* LDR Love Coupons

Love coupons are a great way to break apart from day to day life. It adds spontaneity and spice to you and your partner’s relationship. They are also a great way to feel better connected.

With love coupons you are able to physically be there with them even though you are apart. Love coupons also will help make your presence felt because you are doing something for your partner.

Your Partner may enjoys using them, and it will also allows you to devote your time to them when they uses the coupon.

2* Acknowledge your Partner

Paying attention to what your partner says helps them know that you are on their side. Validate your partner by focusing on what they are saying.

Plus, your partner will feel that you want to hear what they have to say. This also shows that you understand and accept your partner for who they are, flaws and all.
Acknowledging your partner also helps build trust in the relationship.

3* Reminders

A great way to show acts of service is to have them set a reminder or an alarm for you. Sometimes you may need to wake up much earlier than you like, so when you need to you will have your partner help you with a wake up call. It helps make waking up a lot easier because they are there for you.

Besides, who wouldn’t want to hear from their partner when they need to wake up early?

Sure with cell phones and other technology available it would make more sense to set your own alarm but it’s just nice to know your partner will be there when you need help.

How-to Show Acts of Service in a Long Distance Relationship.

4* Learn How to Cook Their Favorite Meal

What better way to surprise your partner than by telling them you’ve learned how to cook their favorite meal.

Learning their favorite meal let’s your partner know that you are interested in them and their preference. By learning how to cook their favorite food, it will show commitment to your partner and the relationship.

This will also be a fun way to show your love during a meet-up. You can make it a whole date night, go to the grocery store together, then after dinner clean the dishes together.

5* Plan an All Day Date during a Meet-up

You both Should plan all day dates for each other. Do this by listening to each other about the different things you want to do during a visit. Then during the next meet-up you have your date.

The key to this is learning more about what they like and trying to plan it for them.

Really listen to your partner and what type of things they like to do. They will be so happy to know that you did something so amazing just for them.

Your partner will know how much you listen to them and that you care about what they are saying.

Thanks for reading, please share to educate others and don’t forget to like and comment your opinion in the comment section. See you next time and have a blessed day.