Narcissistic behavior
is both destructive and dangerous to those at the entering end of it. It’s nearly impossible to prognosticate the behavior
of a narcissistic individual, making it nearly impossible to understand how to please them while maintaining a normal environment in other aspects of life. Narcissism, by description, involves a total lack of empathy for others, making this a very exhausting and unpleasant environment to live in. Children of narcissistic parents are exposed to actions that aren’t in line with those of other families, and prospects that are delicate and occasionally downright impossible to meet
Signs Of A Narcissistic Father
1*He tries to marginalize the child
A narcissistic father may feel hovered by his child’s eventuality. Hence, he might try to pull them down and draw constant comparisons between himself and the child.
2* He has an exaggerated self- image
A narcissistic father could be self- centered and superficial. He might have a superior image of himself and treat people around him simply as tools.
3* He’s driven by ego
His ego means everything to him and he can do anything to keep his ego satisfied, even if it’s hurting someone else’s pride. He reflects a selfish personality and doesn’t Care about how his ego- driven behavior
affects his children.
4* He dreams of having power and control
Does he like to assert absolute authority over his children? That’s because he likes to keep an eye on their every little move and want them to do things the way he wants, even if that causes discomfort.
5* He does n’t take constrictive criticism
A narcissistic father has the impression that he has no excrescencies. thus, he believes that he’s perfect and can turn back to his children, and even say harsh things to damage them.
6* Constantly demanding the discussion to be about them
7* Immature and selfish behavior
8* boasting about your achievements to others, but infrequently admitting you or supporting you emotionally
9* Blaming others for any problems you may have that actually stem from their own behavior
10* Being well- liked and important to others, but controlling and harsh when no one
is looking
11* Making you feel bad for not doing what they want immediately
12* Making you feel guilty by boasting about how much they’ve done for you
13* Harshly opinionated at home but putting up a front for other people
14* Being ruthless and unforgiving, doing anything to be on top
15* Making you feel anxious and frequently lowering your confidence
16* Being absent for your life events
17* Making you engage in sports or other activities, despite your wishes
18* Failing to give warmth and emotional nurturance in the relationship
19* Using you to attain personal gain
20* Being irritated and irked when you need time and attention
21* Making poor defenses to limit time together
22* Displaying unforeseen mood changes and unpredictable wrathfulness
READ ALSO: WHY DO NARCISSISTS ABUSED THOSE THEY LOVE: HOW TO DEAL WITH A NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY
Can a Narcissist Be a Good Father?
So can narcissists love their child?
Overall, they will view their children as a means to anend.However, it’ll never exceed or match the position of love they’ve for themselves, If they do have any feelings of love for their child.
However, this does n’t mean that narcissists are automatically horrible parents. most will parent to the best of their abilities– it’s just that their parenting abilities aren’t that great.
Because Narcissistic Personality complaint( NPD) exists on a diapason, so too does their range of actions. While one narcissist may be a total trash person and the worst parent ever, another could be considered passable when it comes to parenting and might even be easy to get along with from time to time.
However, the inflexibility of their actions can change without a moment’s notice.
So when it comes to wondering if a narcissists can be a good parent, it’s best that you concentrate on your own parenting style in order to fill in the gaps left by the narcissistic parent.
Do n’t look at parenting as a competition – that’s exactly what the narcissists wants. rather, just do your own thing and prioritize your child’s well- being over everything differently.
How To Survive A Narcissistic Father
1* Realize That His Behaviour Is more Than Just difficult
You presumably prefer a solution that’s mutually agreeable. That’s not how a narcissistic mind workshop. A narcissistic father thrives on the sense of control. It’s his way or the trace, as far as he’s concerned. This is n’t just “ being difficult ”. It’s abnormal, unhealthy behavior
.
He may value his ability to manipulate you above having a functional family relationship. You won’t find him very willing to compromise or concede on issues.
2* Realize That Others May Not Understand
Most people have no experience with a narcissistic father. They won’t understand what it’s like. Their support and advice are generally terrible. They mean well, but they ’re speaking from perspectives and gests where no narcissistic father was involved. Even if they tell you about a problematic aunt or a felonious kinsman, it’s not the same thing.
You ’re not settling a bare disagreement with your father. He has a complaint, a constant problem that’s not likely to ever change. There Is A Treatment that can help, but narcissists tend to repel change.
Do n’t worry about being judged for distancing yourself from your father. Do n’t feel ashamed. Dealing with a narcissist is nothing like handling an emotionally healthy family member. It’s not your responsibility to heal this relationship.However, it’s time to move on, If you notice that things won’t improve.
3* Assert Your Boundaries
A narcissistic father will often cross your boundaries simply to prove that he can. He may show up unasked to your home or events. He may defy your family rules to malignancy you. He may designedly give presents only to the person he prefers, just to play mind games. You’ll have to set firm boundaries and apply consequences if he crosses the line. Make it clear why you ’re putting your bottom down. This might feel like you ’re having to punish a problematic child. That’s simply how it’s to manage an innately selfish father.
4* Resist Gaslighting Attempt
It’s very common that a narcissistic father tries to make you believe that you ’re delusional or crazy. He may tell you that you ’re wrong when you ’re obviously right. He may claim you ’re remembering things wrong or making things up. When, in reality, that’s what he’s doing.
He may express putatively sincere concern for your internal good, but this is one of his tricks. It’s a well- known narcissistic manipulation tactic.
5* Consider Getting Professional Help
Growing up with a narcissists for a parent can lead to numerous issues throughout your life. undressed problems mold and grow. Do you find yourself stressed out, angry and confused for no perceptible reason? It helps to figure out the root cause of these problems. maybe you ’ve been erupting with anger and despair to your family and friends, and you do n’t know why. This is a common element of the recovery process from childhood trauma. It’s called transference.
You ’re expressing and materializing the feelings, and you ’re pulling someone into the drama girding the bad recollections. It’s an attempt to heal those childhood injuries.
It’s important to recognize that you suffered a lot of internal pain and confusion as a child. And this may have developed into serious conditions. You may be suffering frompost-traumatic stress( PTSD) and not realize that it’s more than just a strange feeling.
However, it can beget a lot of problems in your present relationship, If you do n’t understand the situation. With the help of a professed, secure therapist, you can begin understanding these feelings and how to handle them. You can work it out, recapture control, and feel more.
Because expressing the issues can be very unpleasant, but largely necessary, speaking to an unprejudiced professional helps a lot.
READ ALSO: HOW TO CONTROL ANGER IN A RELATIONSHIP: 18 BEST WAYS YOU CAN EASILY CONTROL YOUR ANGER
How to deal with a narcissistic father
The damages that can do to your psyche if you have a narcissistic father can have long- lasting effects. But it does n’t mean that these effects have to last a lifetime.
You can heal and cover yourself( and even have some modicum of a relationship with your narcissistic father in the future). The problem of narcissistic parenthood, as thought show, is at an each- time high and dealing with its effects can be problematic.
But you can only do so if you choose to heal the damage that will have passed and also exercise acceptance and make your boundaries( that you do n’t partake with your father to help you manage your relationship with him).
1* Set boundaries
Narcissistic fathers see their children as tools. Bluntly, their children are “ effects ” to them. And because they “ own ” you, they will use you.
However, set and fortify these boundaries, If you live with a narcissistic parent.
Keep it in mind that your nasty narcissist father does n’t have empathy. This lack of empathy makes him unfit to understand your feelings or thought.
When your father begins to contend with your boundaries, take a stage and challenge his position.
Again, you’re an grown-up now, and for dealing with a narcissistic father, you can start asserting authority on your own, especially when your father is flaunting a slighting station.
2* Cut off ties from your narcissistic father
You can now support and care for yourself if you ’re a grown adult. Your narcissistic father won’t change; you can choose to entirely cut ties with him if he becomes abusive and toxic.
At least you can do so until you have learned to accept him as he’s and cover yourself from the rush of your father’s narcissistic tendencies.
Remember, like all narcissists, a narcissistic father uses and manipulates other people to get what they want. Having a child means that they can add their children to their “ prized effects ” that will help define and increase their tone- worth.
3* Remember, abuse does n’t determine your self- worth
Their abuse is a result of having a narcissistic personality complaint. numerous people who have endured abuse have inaptly let the abuse or their abusers determine their self- worth.
narcissistic father- practice acceptance
Trauma cling is formed because of the violent emotional gests generally with a toxic person. Because of the trauma bond, we’re emotionally locked . Strengthened by intermittent mounts such as periodic love bombing.
4* Go for therapy
Therapy is an excellent way of recovering from narcissistic abuse and dealing with the damages one has suffered from any abuse, including the damages caused by a narcissistic father.
However, go for therapy by all means and do n’t delay it any more, If anxiety or PTSD are showing up as the symptoms of narcissistic abuse.
A good therapy session could tap into childhood issues you couldn’t deal with or protect yourself from as a child because you were too Young. Therapy could help you recreate the childhood you missed out on because of your father’s demands.
How to protect a child From a Narcissistic Father
There are a number of way you can take to protect your child from their narcissistic father – some will involve just you and your relationship with the father while others are concentrated on changing the child’s behavior
or helping them to understand their fathers complaint better.
1* Be Open With Them
This can be tricky and the quantum of information you partake about the father needs to take into account your child’s age and maturity level.However, there’s a good chance they ’ll go around repeating the recently- learned word, sometimes in the presence of their father, If you have a younger child and mention that their father is a narcissist. When the father learns that you ’ve outed them as a narcissist to the child, effects are bound to go inadequately.
2* Let Go of the blame
Once you realize you ’ve been parenting alongside a narcissist, you ’re likely to blame yourself for the damage done to your child. Not only are these thoughts and feelings unproductive, but they ’re also patently untrue.
Egoists are incredibly cunning and wo n’t reveal their true nature until it’s too late. This could be after getting married, buying a house, or having children with you. What’s important is that he’s smelled you in and made it very delicate to escape. Not seeing this side of him from the morning isn’t a character excrescence.
3* Let Them Know They ’re Not Alone
One of the most potent ways for narcissist to control their victims is through isolation. They assert control of a situation and manipulate everyone into believing their interpretation of reality through gaslighting. They ’ll shower praise on their kids, erecting them up only to tear them down latterly, something that gives them all the power in the relationship.
4* Stay Calm
This is a big ask because every interaction with the narcissistic father is designed to evoke an emotional response that ’ll reflect inadequately on you. He wants you to cry, scream, and resort to name- calling, which will be used against you when he’s trying to exert more parental control or when he’s fighting for child custody during a divorce
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