One evening, a lady sent me a message on Facebook. She said, “Elena, I’ve heard good things about you. And I’ve heard everything you’ve done for my boyfriend. I want to be your friend too. Here’s my number. We can talk sometime.” I read the message over and over again and the only question that came to mind was “Where’s this one too coming from?”
I responded, “Good to hear from you Eno and I’m glad you’ve heard good things about me. I don’t intend to be rude but who are you and who is your boyfriend?” She sent the emoji with wide-opened eyes and mouth indicating surprise. I said, “I’m sorry but I’ve gone through your profile. I don’t remember where we met or who that your boyfriend might be.”
I waited for several hours to get a response from her but she didn’t say anything. She read my message and ignored me. I thought, “Maybe she made a mistake. I wasn’t the one she intended to send the message to.” I ignored the whole encounter and moved on with my life.

At some point, he tried to make me feel guilty about my decision to cut him off

Albert didn’t stop worrying me. He could disappear for weeks and later spring up out of nowhere and ask me to take him as my boyfriend. The answer was always no. The question he kept asking was, “So had it not been that encounter on your birthday, would you have accepted me as your boyfriend?” I said, “It’s all over now. There’s no need to go back and forth with this. We are two adults. We both know what we want. You want me. It’s unfortunate that I don’t feel the same way so why don’t we move on?” He said, “It’s easy for you to move on because you never felt the way I felt. You never loved me the way I did and I’m amazed you could stand on only one reason to cut me off.”

At some point, he tried to make me feel guilty about my decision to cut him off. Some days, he’ll call and hit all the emotional notes in my heart and make me think, “Well, he’s making a lot of sense. A man is made of many parts. All the parts come together to make a whole man. Why didn’t I give myself the chance to see the whole him before judging him?” But the truth also this… Sometimes, one side of a man can overshadow all the good in him. That’s why we have dealbreakers. If his shortcomings aren’t dealbreakers for you, then it’s safe to go ahead with him but what I saw that night and how he tried to manage the whole incident was a dealbreaker for me. That’s why I didn’t think twice about him.
He kept coming in and going out at will. To me, he was a friend who wouldn’t accept his role in my life. He strived to become who I wouldn’t allow him to be in my life. Another day, I got a notification that someone had sent me a message on Messenger. I didn’t read the message immediately. By the time I opened the message, the message had been deleted. That message came from the same lady from five paragraphs ago. Eno. I picked the number she gave me in her first message. I called her. When she picked I said, “Elena here. It looks like you want to communicate. I’m here. Let’s talk.”


She said, “Yeah I sent you a message a few hours ago. I deleted it because I didn’t know how you will feel about it.” I asked, “What’s the message about. I don’t know you but I can be your sister. If you want to say something to me just go ahead and let’s talk.” She said, “The boy I was talking about the other day is Albert.” I asked, “Albert? Albert what?” She mentioned the surname and said, “He’s my boyfriend. We’ve dated for over a year now. I recently found out about you on his phone and he told me you’re a good friend of his. That’s why I contacted you but per your response, I realized you didn’t know anything about me. That’s why I disengaged.”

I asked, “Albert told you that I, Elena is his good friend?” She said, ”Not only that. He went ahead and told me a lot of good things about you. He said you know about me and know about our relationship because he hides nothing from you. .” I started laughing on the phone. She was quiet. I told him, “Yes he’s my friend but not in the way that he discussed it with you.” She asked, “You think he’s a good person? We’ve dated for a year but there’s so much about him that I don’t know. He hardly opens up about who he is. It makes me wonder if I’m dating a real man or a chameleon.”

When I saw where the conversation was going, I faked a call and told her that I would call her later. I called Albert he didn’t pick. Minutes later he called. He was screaming on the phone, “I swear, today is the happiest day of my life. For you to call me? It’s like I’ve won a bet. Please tell me you have good news for me.” I asked, “Who is Eno?” He said, “Eno is a musician, why?” I said, “Stop playing dumb with me. You know what I’m talking about.” He started stuttering. His words were all over the place. I said, “Take your time. I’m not here to prosecute you. I’m asking you because Eno contacted me.”

He got angry or pretended he was angry; “Why would she contact you? Who gave her permission to contact you? Is love by force?” I said, “You still haven’t answered my question ooo. Who is she to you.” He said, “The way I’m angry, I don’t think I will make sense if I try to explain. Let me call you back.” He cut the line when I was in the middle of my speech.
Later that same evening Eno called. She asked, “What did you tell Albert that he’s so angry with me. I thought you said you can be my sister so why did you tell him everything that I told you.” I said, “I didn’t want to talk about this but it looks like you need a rescue. Let me help you with the whole story.” I told her how I came to know Albert and how he came to propose to me and how he wanted us to split the bill and the last time he came asking me to take him as my boyfriend.”

The girl was stunned. She asked, “Are you serious?” I asked, “Should I send you receipts?”
I didn’t hear from her for a week. Albert didn’t call. I left them to solve their own problem. Not long afterward, Eno sent me a friendship request on Facebook and I accepted. She called later to thank me for everything. She said, “You said you can be my sister and you’ve proven beyond measure that indeed you’re a sister. Thanks for saving me from the lies of that guy. I always knew he was hiding something.” All I said was, “Be careful next time. Guys are not the way they portray themselves. Dig deep and find out for yourself before you commit to them.”


That was August this year.
We didn’t talk again. We didn’t even interact on Facebook. Two weeks ago, I saw a Facebook post from her. It was Albert’s birthday. Come and see praises and worship; “If I didn’t meet you, I wouldn’t have experienced this side of love. Thanks for being there always.” Albert came to write; “Thank you.” She responded, “I love you every day.”
I couldn’t believe my eyes but what could I have said or done? It’s their love to share. I could only stand aside and be amazed by certain decisions some women make. Maybe it will turn out for their good. I pray it does but Albert? Well….