If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment. You may even have given it yourself at some point.
The silent treatment can be in romantic relationship or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers.
It can be a transitory response to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem. In these cases, once the heat of the moment passes, so does the silence.
The silent treatment can also be part of a broader pattern of control or emotional abuse. When it’s used regularly as a power play, it can make you feel rejected or barred. This can have a huge effect on your self- regard.
What does silence mean in a relationship?
The silence in relationship can have varied reasons, from “ stonewalling ” or giving the “ silent treatment ” to a mate when arguing to simply being comfortable with the cooperation after spending time together for a significant number of years.
Stonewalling is toxic or dangerous. There’s a need to seek comforting or leave the situation in a toxic atmosphere since one mate uses the tactic to control their mate. That creates stress and pressure for a significant other and causes an overall unhealthy couplehood.
There are also moments when things are new that mates develop an awkward silence in a relationship, simply running out of things to say to each other. In these situations, the couple needs to work on their communication.
They ’ve come beyond the “ virgin- converse ” stage and are moving into further in- depth conversation. Each is still learning how to approach that with the other person. That’s something they can exercise together or even attend classes or comforting for guidance on working through this awkward phase.
Is silence okay in a relationship?
The silence between lovers can be impeccably natural. Some couples have been together for a long time, and it’s nothing for them to be in the same room for hours engaged in activities without saying a word for sometimes a few hours perfectly content.
That does n’t mean they never have engaging exchanges, simply that they’re able of entertaining themselves and enjoying good discussion with each other.
It’s all in how you interpret the silence.However, that’s not okay, nor is it healthy, If you argue often and someone uses this system for a prolonged period to respond to the disagreement.
However, if you choose to be silent to diffuse a situation where a mate is angry, and there’s entirely too much pressure, preferring to let things cool down before you have the discussion, that’s okay. It all depends on your particular situation.
However, also learning how to break silence in a relationship is pivotal to its survival, If it’s a negative situation.
READ ALSO: SILENT TREATMENT IN A RELATIONSHIP
What to do when it’s Abusive.
Before diving into ways to respond to the silent treatment, it’s important to know how to recognize when it becomes abusive.
Sometimes, going silent may be the best thing to avoid saying things you would latterly lament. People might also use it in moments where they do n’t know how to express themselves or feel overwhelmed.
But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for plying power over someone or creating emotional distance.However, you might feel fully ostracized, If you ’re on the entering end of this kind of treatment.
It’s difficult to live that way, so you might be tempted to do everything you can to get back in their good graces, which perpetuates the cycle.
exploration shows that constantly feeling ostracized can reduce your self- regard and sense of belonging. It can leave you feeling like you ’re without control. This effect may be more violent when it’s done by someone close to you as a form of discipline.
1* Stand up for yourself
When things escalate to emotional abuse, you ’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first.
If you believe the relationship is worth risking
Set firm boundaries about what respectable geste
is and how you anticipate to be treated.
Suggest individua or couples counseling to work on the relationship and communication issues.
State exactly what ’ll be when boundaries are crossed, and follow through when yours are crossed.
However, consider leaving the relationship, If there’s no hope that the other person will change.
2* Take a gentle approach Make it about them
However a gentle approach might be a good way to get the discussion started, If this is n’t something the other person regularly does to you. They may be hurting and looking for a way out.
Calmly tell the person that you ’ve noticed they ’re not responding and you want to understand why. Emphasize that you want to resolve things.
While it’s not your fault that someone differently decides to give you the silent treatment, you do have a responsibility to apologize if you ’ve done something wrong.
However, tell them you understand they may need some time alone, If they do n’t feel open. But state that you ’d like to arrange a time to get together and resolve the problem.
3* Ignore it until it blows over
The silent treatment is n’t always meant to induce injuries. occasionally, it’s an isolated incident that gets out of hand. You can let it slide until they come around and move on.
Or, it can be a passive-aggressive approach to keeping you under control. In these cases, what they want is for you to feel bad enough to make the first move. They ’re biding their time, staying for you to grovel and give in to demands.
rather, go about your business as if it does n’t bother you. This is easier said than done, but try to distract yourself by heading outside or getting absorbed in a good book.
Deprive them of the response they seek. Show that the silent treatment is no way to get what they want from you.
4* Offer Solution
Suggest a face- to- face meeting to hammer out some rules for better communication in the future. Make a plan for how you ’ll talk to each other when things get hotted
and how you ’ll avoid the silent treatment moving forward.
Take turns harkening and repeating what the other person says so you ’re clear on what you anticipate of each other.However, offer to go to couples counseling to learn some new tools, If you ’re in a romantic relationship.
What’s the cause of silence in a relationship?
When a relationship goes silent, there can be multitudinous causes for the issue, like one person does n’t want to involve themselves in the argument that’s about to take place. occasionally it’s better to allow a mate to cool down before communicating so it can be done constructively.
New partnership transitioning from the honeymoon phase into more of an exclusive commitment can go silent because they ’re trying to learn how to go from the giddy empty conversation when dating into more meaningful communication of a married couple.
That leaves them awkward and doubtful of how to approach any discussion. Some other causes suggested
toxin or an attempt to control the outgrowth of an argument with prolonged silence; inflicting emotional discomfort on a mate
Going silent when a mate acts as though the situation isn’t serious
Lack of communication chops
Taking time to cool a temper
Hoping to get some attention
READ ALSO: VERBAL ABUSE FROM HUSBAND
How to Break the Silent Treatment
The silent treatment can ruin a relationship– after all, effective communication is vital for a healthy relationship.However, you can help renew the lines of communication, If you’re on the entering end of the silent treatment.However, also you may want to reevaluate this strategy if you want a long- continuing relationship, If you’re the one
that decides to shut down and ignore your mate when you’re worried. Remember that relationship take work and the perfect person or relationship is a myth.
1* Discuss the situation.
Don’t turn it into an argument. Don’t call your mate hurtful names or attack his feelings. You want to resolve the issue rather of playing the blame or shame game. Remember that you can choose to agree to differ on an issue, but respecting one another is the key.
2* Give your mate space and time.
However, do not allow the silent treatment to last too long before making contact with your mate. For some couples, this time period may be an hour, a couple of hours or a day.
3* Write your mate a letter or buy her gifts
Written words can be important. Let your mate know that you recognize she’s worried and that you want to work with her to resolve the issue. Ask her for a specific date and time where you two can talk. Tell her you want to go for a walk in the demesne, eatery or some other neutral position where you can partake sequestration, but outside of the normal home terrain.
4* Try to see things from your mate’s perspective.
This will help you to understand his position more and empathize with his feelings. This means also giving yourself time to reflect on the issues. It also gives both of you time to cool off and think things through from a rational perspective rather of just an emotional one
.
5* Give your mate affectionate physical contact to show you care.
However, make simple gestures similar as touching her hand or smoothly stroking her arm or back, If she isn’t ready for a clinch or kiss.
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